we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
