When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
