I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
