I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
