Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
