Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
vagina is talking i cant
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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