is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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