Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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