coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
