Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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