You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
