So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
