Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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