Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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