The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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