Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
