If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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