I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
