Just took my morning after pill in the library
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
