hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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