OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
