If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So much Jack, so little girl.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
