very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
