Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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