Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
