It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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