new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
