i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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