Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
there is puke in my bra ... again
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