I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
