she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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