Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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