hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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