Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
someone owes me an orgasm
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
