You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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