At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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