we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
