lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
