Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
