It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
