Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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