Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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