This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
