also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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