i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
