I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
