you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
