but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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