i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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