Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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