And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
