Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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